The Laws Of Computing…

September 6, 2007 at 11:18 am

WEINBERG’S LAW

• If builders built buildings the way the programmers wrote programs, the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

UTZ’S LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING

• Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
• Any given program costs more and takes longer.
• If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
• Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.
• If a program is useless, it will be documented.
• The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
• Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.
• Make it possible for programmers to write programs in english, and you will find that programmers cannot write english.

FLAP’S LAW

• Any inanimate object, regardless of its position or configuration, may be expected to perform at any time in a totally unexpected manner for reasons that are either entirely obscure or else completely mysterious.

MURPHY’S FIRST LAW

• Nothing is as easy as it looks.

MURPHY’S SECOND LAW

• Everything takes longer than you think.

MURPHY’S THIRD LAW

• In any field of scientific endeavor, anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

MURPHY’S FORTH LAW

• If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

MURPHY’S FIFTH LAW

• If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

MURPHY’S SIXTH LAW

• If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

MURPHY’S SEVENTH LAW

• Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

MURPHY’S EIGHT LAW

• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

MURPHY’S NINTH LAW

• Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

MURPHY’S TENTH LAW

• Mother Nature is a bitch.

MURPHY’S ELEVENTH LAW

• It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious.

MURPHY’S LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS

• Things get worse under pressure.

TURNAUCKAS’ OBSERVATION

• To err is human; to really foul things up takes a computer.

CHARLEY’S OBSERVATION

• Computers were invented by murphy.

TURNAUCKAS’ LAW

• The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord.

THE LAW OF COMPUTERDOM ACCORDING TO GOLUB

• Fuzzy project objectives are used to avoid the embarrassment of estimating the corresponding cost.
• A carelessly planned project will take only twice as long.
• The effort required to correct course increases geometrically with time.
• Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so vividly manifests their lack of progress.

BLAUW’S LAW

• Established technology tends to persist in spite of new technology.

BROOK’S LAW

• Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

HOARE’S LAW OF LARGE PROGRAMS

• Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out.

THE NINETY-NINETY RULE OF PROJECT SCHEDULES

• The first 90 percent of the tasks takes 10 percent of the time and the last 10 percent takes the other 90 percent.

GROSCH’S LAW

• Computing power increases as the square of the cost. if you want to do it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times as fast.

ISAAC ASIMOV’S THREE LAWS OF ROBOTICS

• A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
• A robot must obey orders given to it by a human being except where such orders would conflict with the first law.
• A robot must protect its own existance as long as such protection does not conflict with the first or second law.

HOROWITZ’S RULES

• Wisdom consists of knowing when to avoid perfection.
• A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as twenty men working twenty years make.
• There exist unthinkable thoughts.

HUNT’S LAW OF SUSPENSE

• If any work has a suspense date on it, that work will be completed as close to the suspense date as possible regardless of how far in advance the work was programmed.

MC AULEY’S AXIOM

• If a system is of sufficient complexity, it will be built before it is designed, implemented before it is tested, and outdated before it is debugged.

ANOTHER ONE OF MURPHY’S LAWS

• If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number.

SNAFU EQUATIONS

• Given any problem containing n equations, there will be n+1 unknowns.
• An object or bit of information most needed will be least available.
• Any device requiring service or adjustment will be least accessible.
• Interchangeable devices won’t.
• Badness comes in waves.

ARTHUR C. CLARK’S LAW

• It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.

FEATHERSTONE’S ACCURATE STEPS TO SYSTEMS DEVELOPMENT

• Wild Enthusiasm
• Disillusionment
• Total confusion
• Search for the Guilty
• Punishment of the innocent
• Promotion of Nonparticipants

MAIER’S LAWS

• If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
• The bigger the theory the better.

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